A Lecturer, A Glass and Your Sorrows

While I wait for my biopsy results to come back here's a story that reminded me of how much control I have over my own problems and worries.

'A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier itbecomes.”

He continued,”And that’s the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don’t carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. So, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don’t pick it up again until after you’ve rested a while.”

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

* If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.


*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. '
- author unknown

Introducing Pieces of Me

Why oh why would I ever start a blog?
Well, I'm a mom of two and my husband works away from home so I need an outlet, someway to process my life, outside of my being, to give my brain one less thing to curate.

So here I am doing the unthinkable,
*gag choke sputter...
Blogging.

I am an amateur writer, artisan and entrepreneur.

Feel free to comment, I'd love to hear from you.
The purpose of this blog is akin to that of a diary, yet I am also hoping that by making it public other people might benefit from the chronicles of my journey.

I think my journey is about but not limited to- child rearing, 'wifery', living life and it's also about self worth and body image from the perspective of a mom who happens to be occasionally off beat ;)
Hope you enjoy reading.

Black man dresses in KKK uniform in Philly

That's right, a real black man dons the garb of a society that years ago committed grave atrocities against those of his very hue. Do you want to know why?

35 year old Sixx King ( if we can believe that this is his real name) said that he wanted to bring awareness to black on black crime in Philly. For more on this please read the article in the link I posted here, below that is my own opinion of this controversial display.

http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2013/02/06/african-american-dressed-in-kkk-hood-on-street-corner-sparks-controversy-in-philadelphia/

My P.O.V?

I think it shows a lack of respect for those who have suffered at the hands of the KKK and those who have been abused at the hands of all who espouse the KKK's ethos.


Black on Black crime is not the product of race, it is the product of economics. The two are not bedfellows and though they maybe indirectly linked this display seems to suggest that they are equals. I can concede that murder is murder but this whole notion of 'black on black' confuses me, maybe because I'm not American. It sounds like the murders were about race when people use race as the basis of their terminology. Yet how many of those crimes that were against black people were perpetrated by blacks that did so because they despised their own race. I hardly doubt many, if any. Also, am I to believe that we are to be more concerned when black people murder blacks and not when their victims are whites, of course not so what really is his point if none of these. These crimes are people on people. The demographic and economics help create a cocktail that outputs the victims and the perpetrators as being of the same race -black but really their race as a pure, physical attribute has nothing more to do with the race of their victims than the mere coincidence of demographics. Wouldn't it be better to draw attention to the level of crime as a whole (black, white or indigo) and what that indicates and what changes could be made?

The two military diets that you should know about

The most effective diet for me was the 3day 'military diet'. I lost about 6 pounds in one week. Though, eventually I did gain it back so that made me wonder if it was water weight, less gluten and carbs therefore less bloating. I have to admit tho' once I ended the diet I reverted to my evil ways and truly the 3 day diet is best used as a spring board for changing your nutritional habits.

The 3day/military diet is as follows:

3 day diet

DAY 1 :
Breakfast - 1/2 Grapefruit, 1 Slice of Toast, 2 Tablespoons of Peanut Butter and coffee or a cup of tea

Lunch - 1/2 cup of tuna, 1 slice of toast and coffee or tea (must be caffeinated)

Dinner - 3 ounces of any type of meat
1 cup of green beans, 1/2 banana, 1 small apple and 1 cup of vanilla ice cream

Tip:

Warm the apple and/or banana and use to top the icecream


Day 2:

Breakfast - 1 egg, 1 slice of toast, and 1/2 banana

Lunch - 1 cup of Cottage Cheese ( or 1 slice of Cheddar Cheese), 1 Hard Boiled Egg and 5 Saltine Crackers

Dinner - 2 hot dogs (no buns), 1 cup of broccoli, 1/2 cup of carrots, 1/2 banana and 1/2 cup of vanilla ice cream

Day 3:

Breakfast - 5 saltine crackers, 1 slice of cheddar cheese and 1 small apple

Lunch - 1 hard boiled egg and 1 slice of toast

Dinner - 1 cup of Tuna, 1/2 of a banana and 1 cup of vanilla ice cream

With this diet you must drink lots of water, which is great for you whether dieting or not.

Do not substitute, these combinations have been created for optimized impact on your metabolism.

In 3 days you may have lost up to 10lbs, you can return to normal eating for 4 days but it's not recommended if your normal eating means over indulging. After the four days of relaxed eating you can begin the 3 day regimen if you wish.

Verses The Get Lean Diet

When I went searching online for the 3 day military diet again, I found the 'true' military diet, the 'Get Lean' diet on military.com. I hope I have even better results with this one, it even tells you the best time to exercise and what to eat after exercising. I'll try it out and post any weight loss. I mean it makes sense for a mom to be following a diet of this name right? I sure think so.

The Military Diet, from a former navy seal:
http://www.military.com/military-fitness/nutrition/get-lean-diet

Note: I am not recommending that you make any drastic changes to your diet or exercise plan without getting the okay from your doctor.

A Good Marriage isn't Accidental

So recently I've been having fun trying to purposely add more spice and heat into our marriage instead of, you know, just waiting for the pot to magically descend on our heads in a cloud of steamy mist to graciously pour out hotness. I say good call on my part, as magic pots can be kinda unpredictable. Which brings me to the point - creating our own magic, and below I'll share a tiny bit of my most successful ploys

1. At a girlfriends hangout the ladies mentioned a book that they had read where the author said that to spice up her marriage she wrapped her naked body almost completely in plastic wrap and waited at the door for the hubby to come home. Ughh, I did not do this lol. Can you imagine? Oh man... Instead I try really hard, even on bad days with the boys, to put makeup on and have reasonable hair and to wear appealing, even though causal, clothes.

2. Games - for example the hubby and I just started this pic a day game that gives us insight into each other's world's which really helps me understand what he is feeling when he is working away from home weeks at a time but this even works when I get to see him at the end of the day.

We both enjoy this and it makes sense when compared to the scientific studies that have been discussed in John Gottman's 'Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work'. They found that couples that knew what each had to deal with, what pressures the other was facing or what dreams and visions the other had, had a better chance at surviving fights. Ah so brilliant excuse for some pic play.

See one template for a photo a day game below for February. You can make your own for the other months, this just gives you ideas.

You can follow FATMUMSLIM @ her blog http://fatmumslim.com.au/

On each day we would interpret the word for that day in our own special way and take a picture that represented that idea or word to us. We got some funny interpretations and some very straightforward but all in all I felt like it make me feel as if he was with me throughout the day.

3. Resolutions - I'm not big on New Years resolutions but I'm big on resolutions period so here's a few that have given me some good ideas, maybe you can find some in there for you as well.

 

4. Get High School - do the impetuous.
My husband would be at work and see a newspaper and just cut up words into a collage for me ( see image of one below). Sometimes being so grown up gets in the way of fun so we do give into our crazed inner teenage selves every once in awhile. Go for it!!

Kinda hilarious that he found the word ass in the newspaper

I also recently happened to watch a few shows that reminded me of young love and why I married my husband, the qualities that made him stand out. Meditating on those qualities that jumped out at me when we were young, childless and carefree has really done wonders for my ability to accept my husband in his entirety.

Well those things are a few of what's been fun for me and the hubby that I dare to post and I'm sure there's a whole lot more we can cook up ;).
Our lives are hectic but we dont want life to live us, we want to be present and continue to build our relationship because when the children are gone, married or off saving the world I dont want to be left with a man I neither know nor respect, talking about our kids and long forgotten past. Instead I want the best days YET. May we all have that after the cake is gone.

I am Vicks Worthy

There is something comforting about the smell of Vicks. Maybe it's the memories of being handled with care, of being gently nurtured, of feeling nothing but the need to just 'be'. The warm touch of my mother rubbing Vicks on my back. The child I was, completely sure everything would be fine once mommy was there. No sense of responsibilities to others, but the ability to accept care , the ability to be fragile, without self inspection, any sense of failure or feelings of being unworthy of attention.

You know, I don't tell my children that they need to be worthy of assistance or that needing it makes them less than. So why do I feel such turmoil at the thought of needing help. As if there was an age at which we outgrow being worthy of kindness. As if we have to now earn it somehow. Sometimes I act like asking for help means somehow I have failed.

I hope and pray that every week offers opportunities for me to accept kindness, that I and anyone like me will find the strength to be okay with being vulnerable. Moms like me need help to accept that it's okay to have our needs met too. My hope is that those childlike qualities in us that allow us to not equate need with personal lack in other people, will allow us to be gracious with ourselves.